My horoscope cracked me up
Meet me! I am Pratibha, a December born, and a Sagittarius! So the word, ‘’Sagittarius!’’ Today I know this, but before 2016, I had no clue that it was my zodiac. My mother made me realize that my name starts with ‘’P’’, so I am a Virgo. She was so damn sure about it! I swear…
Newspapers are not trendy today, but before 2016, almost every family had an offline subscription to them. My family, too! I was habitual to read from the back, which had my two favorite pages. So, one was all about colorful celebrities and movie life (before, I felt amazed, but now I don’t follow them actively), and the second was about the daily horoscopes. Many times, I never knew what was on the front pages. So, after reading the celebrity one, I used to look for the last column of the daily horoscope under the ‘’Virgo sign.''
Oh God, all those years, I fooled myself and read someone else’s horoscope. Usually, the newspaper used to state, ‘’money loss; today your mood may be bad; don’t wear this color; your lucky number is blah, blah; this direction will suit you; you will be a scientist. This ‘’maybe’’ really kept me in suspense and sometimes irritated me. While that scientist thing flashed an imaginary smile in my mind. Haha! It’s worth laughing at now. According to them, my 4 days were bad and 2 days were good, with one day being normal. Thank God, one day went without tragedy. One more thing: it also had, ‘’Save yourself from dogs and bulls today.’’ Damn, every alternate day, they used to warn me. My horoscope was like a daily opera show running on a dramatic and shocking script.
Around 2015, an Indian news channel used to host a half-hour program called ‘’Kaal Chakra.’’ I think it is actively hosted today, as it brings more crowds. I remember that my mom’s morning started by sticking to it every 8. a.m. It was quite funny to me. Funny in the sense that no one in my family knew their zodiac signs clearly (just by the first letter of their name), and secondly, how can a prediction be true for all people under a zodiac? She used to say to me, ‘’The next 15 days, you will get something big and some hidden money too.‘’ ‘’The Pandit (priest) is saying this about the Virgo.’’ Although this pandit was quite good and genuine, what use is it if you are listening to another’s zodiac as yours? My mom was determined to watch till the end to see everyone's horoscope (definitely not anyone’s).
It was in 2016 that my curiosity kicked in to read about zodiacs on Google. This was the time when the internet got cheap in my country, India. Finally, I came across ‘’Chinese zodiac and horoscopes.’’ By the way, I never rely on sun signs, moon signs, and all that. But yes, they are true until you just blindly dissolve them. I read the first few pages on Google, and today I at least know how much to trust in horoscopes. Proudly, I learned a lot about the zodiac animals and elements. And someone should give me a certificate of ‘’Best Chinese Zodiac Learner.''
